According to Webster’s Dictionary, a workaholic is defined as, "somebody who has a compulsive need to work hard and for very long hours." A recent study conducted by Statistics Canada showed that almost one-third of employed Canadians aged 19 to 64 (31%) identify themselves as workaholics. This statistics only applies to the typical 'employed' individuals -- the numbers for self-employed, home-based business owners are much higher. The main reason for this increase can be summed up in one simple sentence: the majority of self-employed individuals believe that the more hours you work, the more income you earn. In my case, this was true. It wasn't until I found myself working almost 100 hours (or more!) per week when I realized that the income I was earning was coming at a very high price.
When I first started my home-based business, I had all the time in the world to plan, strategize, organize, write, work, meet, talk ... well, you get the idea. As long as my husband was at work, I was free to do all the things that I needed to do to earn income. My typical day would be to wake up at 7:00 am, 'commute' to my basement office, and work through the day, rarely taking a break, except to grab a quick meal to eat at my desk, and close my laptop when my husband returned home from his day at the office, usually around 7:00 pm. We would share a take-out dinner, and after cleaning up the dishes (a quick drop in the waste bin), I would sneak back downstairs and work some more, until bedtime at around 11:00 pm. This usually happened between six and seven days per week.
Fast forward to today, and I am still married, but with three children under the age of six, a four-bedroom, four-bathroom home, and running my own business from my home office. The typical days of yore are long gone, and my daily schedule has shifted dramatically. I now get up in the morning and "work" from home, just not as much in the office as I used to. My 100-hour work week has dropped to less than half that, and I spend time with my family during what I have voluntarily declared "family time." I do not schedule calls, meetings or deadlines during my family time. My responses to emails do not usually come during this allotted time space, nor do I try to accomplish large tasks in this timeframe. I have, what I consider to be, a very healthy work / life balance now, but this did not happen overnight.
When my first son was born, we expanded my office to include a play area for him when he no longer slept 20 hours per day. He had is own space right beside me that was safe and secure, and I was free to work on my computer while keeping constant watch over him. Once he began walking, his area became too confined and he was no longer content to simply play with his toys. His attention span was dwindling, and as all toddlers do, he began to demand more interaction from me.
The day of reckoning, for me, finally came when I was participating in a tele-conference seminar while my son was napping. Halfway through the call, I was distracted by his cries on the baby monitor. Given that he had only been asleep for about 15 minutes, I thought I could "sneak" away from the call for a couple of seconds to quickly go and soothe him back to sleep. The scene that awaited me proved otherwise. He had taken off his diaper, and *ahem* painted not only his crib rails, walls and blankets, but also himself -- from his toes to his hips. I had a choice. I could leave him in his crib for a minute, run back to the office, rejoin the call and graciously excuse myself, allowing me to return to tend to his artwork. However, I decided to take the opposite route. I decided that the call would have to wait, and while all of the participants silently wondered where I had disappeared to, I was bathing my one-year-old (incidentally, if I had had access to a hazmat suit, I would have gladly accepted!)
Needless to say, when I had all the sheets changed, and my son was back to sleep, I returned to the seminar call. It had ended -- without an opportunity for me to explain my absence. It was not a shock to me when I was not asked to return as a guest by the seminar speaker.
From that moment on, I decided that I needed to get a better balance of when and where I could conduct my business. I learned the importance of ensuring that I could work without being distracted. I no longer booked calls or meetings when there was a possibility of being interrupted, even if it was during a time that I could usually expect to work without any disturbance. The incident above taught me to "expect the unexpected."
I also learned that it was much easier to book "family" time than it was to book "work" time. Family tends to be a little more unpredictable, whereas the interruptions from work can be controlled. I choose when to respond to emails, I choose when to answer the phone (or turn it off completely), and I choose when to work on projects. Most days now, this happens when the older kids are at school, and after they have gone to bed at night. Some weekends, when I have an especially large project, I can enlist the help of other family members to spend some time with the kids, but for the most part, my work is performed when family time is finished.
So what about those without kids or other family responsibilities, you ask? The same rules apply. Only, "family time" becomes "me time." As you can see from the beginning of this article, when I did not have little ones to worry about, I fell into the workaholic trap, pushing myself between 16-18 hours per day. Not only did I neglect my relationship with my husband, but I also neglected my relationship with myself. We've all heard of "me time." This is not simply a catch-phrase. It is a REQUIREMENT! ... Many life coaches will tell you that you cannot simply find time for yourself, you need to make time for yourself. I never did that -- my life revolved around my business, and I actually thought that WAS me time! Now, I'm not telling you to neglect your business, but simply realize that it's important to take time out for yourself in the process. It could simply be a 20 minute brisk walk around the block, a coffee break with a friend, a hot bath in the evening with a good book. Take time out of your day to do whatever it takes to allow your mind to think about you, and ONLY you.
I'm sure you've heard the proverb, "All work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy." Some of us may know the second half as, "All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy." The idea behind the proverb is that there needs to be a balance in work and play. Too much of one is going to be detrimental to the other. Or, simply put, find your work / life balance. Amazingly, this sentiment can be found as far back as 2600 B.C., attributed to the very wise Egyptian Sage Ptah-Hotep, in his instructions where he states, "One that reckons accounts all the day passes not a happy moment. One that gladdens his heart all the day provides not for his house. The bowman hits the mark, as the steersman reaches land, by diversity of aim. He that obeys his heart shall command."
It may have taken decades to build the Great Pyramid, but I think it's safe to say that they probably had a great work / life balance.
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