Home Business Pitfall # 6 – Failure To Communicate (Part 6 of 7)

The phrase, "What we’ve got here … is failure to communicate," is arguably one of the most memorable lines from the movie, Cool Hand Luke. This famous quote has been used time and time again in newspaper articles, books, blogs, legal cases, and the list goes on. The reason it has been used so often is that it accurately describes one of the most quintessential reasons for relationship breakdown, be it personal or business. Without effective communication between two parties, the relationship is destined for failure.

Contrary to what the image above may depict, I’m not talking about the breakdown in communication between men and women—that is an entirely different animal—I’m talking about the core communication between you and your customers, clients, partners, suppliers, and even employees.

Many, if not all, home-based business owners use email as their major method of communication, and although email is a very effective tool, if used improperly, it can be damaging for business. And, yes, I will concede that all of the other typical forms of communication are also used on a regular basis (ie: phone, mail, text, etc.) But the point that I am hoping to make is, what is missing from all of these tools? The answer is simple--interpersonal, physical contact.

In today’s technological and e-commerce world, you will most likely operate your home-based business within some form of a virtual environment. You are also likely to use tools such email, web conference and phone as your main methods of *meeting* with people. Again, although they are highly effective methods, the nature of these types of communication puts you at a disadvantage. You are essentially missing out on a crucial component of effective communication – non-verbal communication.

Charles Darwin is known for many things, one of which is the first scientific study of non-verbal communication in his book, The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals (1872). In his book, Darwin discusses the impact of non-verbal communication and how it can be interpreted when dealing with individuals face-to-face. Non-verbal communication might include hand gestures, body movements, posture, physical contact, eye contact, and facial expressions. Other facets of non-verbal communication include emotion, mood, attitude, rhythm and intonation.

When using the telephone or other forms of ‘verbal’ communicators, conveying your emotions may be somewhat easier, but how do you accomplish this with text messaging or email? Some primitive methods have been developed for trying to convey our body language in print, for example, ‘emoticons’ (smiles, winks or frowns), or through capitalization of words (denotes yelling), but unless these tools are used correctly, the message may be poorly received.

Let’s take a look at an example. The following sentence could be a typical response to an email request, however, when I use the exact same words, each with different formatting, the sentence takes on two very different connotations (because this is not a grammar lesson, I will leave punctuation, sentence structure and word choice out of this.)

“Well that’s just great! :-) I understand what it is you are asking for, and I will definitely get back to you as soon as I have a free moment. Thanks a lot! :-)”

“Well that’s just great. I understand what it is you are asking for, and I will definitely get back to you as soon as I HAVE A FREE MOMENT. Thanks a LOT.”

In the first example, the tone of the response is upbeat and positive demonstrated by the use of emoticons. It lightens the mood, and gives the impression that the responder is pleased with the situation, and more than happy to oblige.

In the second example, the lack of emoticons erases the implied positive mood of the responder, and the addition of the capitalization of words that, in the first example, are received as positive, make them seem almost negative in that they are emphasized with a louder voice. The response now gives the impression that the responder is not exactly pleased with the customer asking for special attention, and is somewhat bothered by the intrusive request.

Let’s put this response into context. Imagine for a moment the request had come from a customer who, in his email, wrote, “Hi there, I have a $10,000 order to place, but I need it filled asap. I hate to be a bother, but would it possible to have the product delivered sooner than the 4-5 days? As soon as I hear back from you, I will give you the order.” Which response do you think your customer is going to want to receive? Most likely, the first example—I know I would. In fact, given the implied tone of the second reply, I would probably view is as a ‘bother’ to the recipient and take my business elsewhere.

If the customer had been on the phone with his request, he probably would have heard happiness (emotion) in the verbal response, in addition to ‘hearing’ a smile over the telephone (mood). Moreover, if the customer’s request had been in person, he would have seen delight (facial expression), might have witnessed a jump for joy(body language), and even may have received a hand-shake or a pat on the back (physical touch). You can begin to see the advantage that a face-to-face meeting would have over a potentially misunderstood email message.

Now, I know that I promised real-life examples of how I learned (the hard way) to avoid these pitfalls, but in the interest of keeping this post short(er), I think I will graciously opt out of this one. But I will say that I have not fallen victim to this particular blunder all too often. In fact, I have been referred to as an “emoticon addict” on many occasions, and I use them at every possible opportunity :-) I did have an example in mind, so maybe one day I’ll write a book,“Confessions Of A Home-Based Business Owner,” and go into detail then. But for now, I think the example above basically gets my point across.

The example given is just a very rudimental view of what can happen when a message in an email is misconstrued. What I’m hoping you will take away from all of this is, even though the message is intended to say one thing, it is actually how the reader receives the message that is important. I’ll say it another way. You may bethinking one thing in your mind as you compose an email, but it ishow the reader perceives the message on the other end that ultimately decides what the message is saying.

I would like to be clear on one thing, I’m not here to discuss the dangers of using email as a form of communication—again, that’s an entirely separate topic. What I do want to stress is that understanding how you communicate your message, whether it is on the phone or by email, is just as important, if not more important, than the message itself.